Lawyer Jokes: An Extract From Robert’s New Book – LAW

Lawyer jokes (found on the Internet)

• What is the difference between lawyers and sperm? There’s no difference: one in 50 million has a chance of becoming a human being.

• Why is it prohibited for lawyers to have sex with their clients? To prevent the client being charged twice for the same service.

• It was so cold in Aberdeen one winter’s day that a lawyer was seen with his hands in his own pockets.

• The problem with the legal profession is that 99 per cent of lawyers give the others a bad name.

• What’s the difference between a lawyer and an onion? You cry when you cut up an onion.

• How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb? Three. One to climb the ladder. One to shake the ladder. One to sue the ladder company.

• Mark Twain: It is interesting to note that criminals have multiplied of late, and lawyers have also, but I repeat myself.

• Legal problems? Take my advice:

1. Don’t trust lawyers.

2. Treat lawyers as you would treat sharks.

3. Keep away from lawyers as far as possible.

4. Don’t pay lawyers.

5. If you have no choice but to consult a lawyer, be choosy, critical, questioning and cynical.